Although some really harrowing things happened in my childhood (the details of which I buried inside of me until I was in my thirties) my father was a Pastor, and I remember my childhood as a happy one. My parents dearly loved me and although we never had much money, they bent over backwards to give my brother and I the opportunities in life we needed. For me, that was giving me piano lessons, as I showed a gifting for music from an early age. At 16 I won a scholarship to the Dartington College of Arts in Devon; leaving my home without a backward glance!!
I was already feeling the restrictions of my parents fundamental religion, so I gleefully embraced student life and all the substance and sexual experimentation that was part of the late sixties/early seventies era. From Dartington I progressed up to The Royal College of Music in London where my lifestyle often took precedence over my studies until one dreadful day in Dover, I had an awful bad LSD trip, narrowly avoiding throwing myself off a cliff. I then spent what I felt was 24 hrs on the edge of madness staring into the abyss. Chronic, pervasive fear had entered my life.
Looking back now what followed would have clearly been diagnosed as PTSD in this day and age. Back then such things were not really being acknowledged. I was suddenly catapulted into struggling with flashbacks, panic and heavy anxiety. It was not a good “look” in my social environment when everyone just wanted to have fun. I sensed a growing antipathy and started to withdraw and isolate myself. What happened next is talked about in the section about John and I’s testimony.
I deeply regret this bad trip and wish I had never ever taken so many drugs, but it did stop me in my tracks. A quick examination of my life made it clear that I was too heavily into both self destructive and relationally destructive patterns of behaviour. If I carried on like that I would implode.
In the fear and depression that began to stalk my life from that period onwards, I began to look outside of myself; searching for more answers leading me eventually to the Answer, the God of love Himself.
Can God Help with Anxiety?
The introduction to in this section gives Lous personal story about struggling with Anxiety.
The anxieties we all grapple with; past, present and future.
God ‘s secret weapon for anxiety. Yielding our concerns to the One who can both cares and can help.
Getting to know the faithfulness of Gods promises
Unravelling underlying issues around anxiety
A prayer for Anxiety